I dont wanna make it clear.

There was a young girl, young and stupid. She had two best friends whom she thought she’ll be w them till forever, but obviously, it goes nowhere, but this. She was falling in love once, once in her entire life. She fell to his arm, her own bestfriend, she fought for this guy, a guy who she respected, saluted and not even a tad she thought that she’ll hurt him, but she’s just a human, humble human, flaw isn’t an escape. Her another bestfriend was a girl, this girl ended the relationship w her after wht they had been tru. She was devastated, hurting, but she moved on, together w her another bff/ bf, would prefer him as a bestfriend. They were a happy ever couple, that was wht she thought before a tragic incident happened. They broke up, in term of bestfriend either as a couple. She broke down, it was like a nightmare, the most terrible one. All she wanted to do was just sleep, didn’t have the guts to stay alive, to face the reality that she had lost someone that she really, deeply in love with. But she had to, she had no choices but to move on, stand on her own feet. She did it, she moved on, so did the guy. And she glad for it.

She met another great guy, but they were just friends, she thought she had fallen, but she wasn’t. She was just a confuse young girl who had a broken heart. They went nowhere but friends. Why? Because this great guy scared of commitment , he lied bout his feelings, and this girl vividly knew it! When? When he called her in the middle of the night, and just asking when is her last paper and finally, for once, ONCE ( this fact breaks her heart enough ) he told her that he missed her, but it’s all too late,she couldn’t fix it anymore, not this time, not now.

I was a broken hearted girl, i couldn’t be fixed. My heart broke several times, and i didnt want it to be touched anymore not till i believe that ill be fine w this one. To be frank i met lots of guys, and i had crush on them, but i played w it. I was a broken hearted, a pathetic girl, i couldn’t take any commitment , again, from any guys on earth. I just wanna be free and full yet now im just empty, like an empty glass, fragile, vulnerable.

I could tell that this time is different and i feel different , i can feel the differences. Im ok, but nt good. Ill be better. I couldn’t expect people to understand me, all the time. I just need my bff right now. I just need them. I need someone who is opposite w my thoughts sometimes but understand me most of the times and i would pretend that i didn’t care. A person who always declined with my statement. I need them to tell me that im wrong, my deeds. Without me telling them wht ive been tru, im complex and u know it! Tell me w ur sarcasm though i dislike it but u know its the only way to wake me up. I feel different. Tell me that i shouldn’t do that, tell me till ive no hesitation to change my insolent attitude, till i regret for wht ive done. Tell me till u mad, till u project the words that i never thought ull project it.

I didn’t feel like talk about it, but wrote it.

Farah and fatin i owed u both for making me cried, for good :) i love you and i miss you.

Thumbs up ! :D

Just checked on my facebook profile, then i saw this,

i love this photo and its quote, ;)

" Love doesnt just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new "

macam nyelak kmk jak bunyi anak ya, fadh u r dead young man, u are so dead! dush dush!

" Life isnt measured by the numbers of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.. "

this is so super sweet, dont cha think?

kata-kata itu amat dlm sungguh, thumbs up fadh! :D

Wish me luck!

who am i to 'fate' my own destiny.

I've been left here, together w my other friends. Ignoring myself from thinking what have u guys been up to. I am no longer to stay in this past book which i kept a long ago.

My appearance may not show that ive something in mind to share, but my heart does. I oblige myself to think of something else instead of starring at my hp, waited for it to ring. It did, several. I was glad. Then i asked myself, untill when ive to live in this messyness, missing them. Get a life!

I am happy w others here. Im spectacularly happy. But when boredom strikes, then it'll bcome a problem that i have to handle myself. Seldom i texted my friends, this time, I gather all my strength to accomplish my mission. It's not that i wanna change by ignoring u, not at all. I just need time to think right and wrong. It sounds like u guys had done something bad towards me, dont u ever think that way. I felt ive changed a lot. So i need my mia back, instant!

My final exam is just around the corner, wish me luck bff!! :)

I miss you...........

Everytime i log in to my fb ill reach ur profile. Updating myself to ur update. I miss u really deeply, mix w a feeling of guilt. I miss u to hug me when i was down, helplessly lean on ur shoulder.

U texted me quite no of times recently. Im glad ur back. I really am. Im really not looking foward for any negative changes from u, i just want u to be static. But deep down, i know it wont be happening. Im ready for anything that possible, coming to confront me. I forbid myself to think how it may lead me.

There was a time when i was alone in my room, in my hostel, i noticed one small book, a dictionary to be exact. I looked at it w ur complexion on it. I was blurred for a sec then out of nowhere a tear falling down at the edge of my eye, just a tear and the only tear which i allowed to stream down my cheek.

I went back from my hostel to my own crib, then i rushed to the kitchen to grab my choco u gave to me. Ants were all over the place but triumphly i aside them. Motionly i ate them. I felt the anger rushing in my veins as i ate them one by one. I just dont want it to be finished.

U called me, ignoring the time, asking me what would i do if i were in ur shoes. I told u my point of view. Out of the blue, in the middle of the conversation, u told me u're missing me. my heart sank. I wish i was there helping u to sort the shits.

I read ur comment on my wall post. U made me laugh with ur words yg abit mengancam jiwa, :D i miss u hottie, the energetic movement had left me for quite sometimes.

U both rang me in the middle of the night for the sake of him,wishing him a happy birthday. He cried. U guys touched me. I really did. A salutation for ur sense of frienship. After the touching moment, u three made joke to each other which lead me pereying in the middle of the night! Thank you :)

I miss you...........................

no tajuk given.

Omagah!! my friend, Joanne got free ticket for this AAR coming concert !! HOW COOL IS THAT?! i mean like it is EXTREMELY COOL !! shooot! BUT unfortunately, she has to go to sunway pyramid to redeem it and ironically she is now in kc. it's not NEARLY POSSIBLE to go there and grab it.
when she told me bout it, i was like wth?!! u serious kah?! and she was like, what? serious shit i got it kay!! then she showed me a msg, it is PROVEN ! xpala joanne lain kali cuba lagi kay :))

move !
ive passed my eco's test. i thought ive failed but then i asked my friend, am i gagal? then she looked at my paper, LULUS YALAH!! with the highest volume of her voice. im not deaf dear, i was sitting beside u , like duh.. so yea, i passed! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... ku tidak percaya!! though ia hanyalh nyawa2 ikan but still only 7 of us yg lulus, so yea, i am terribly glad that m one of them!

wheres the love?

When ur mind breaks the spirit of ur soul.

i luvvvvvvvvvvv this quote.

ur mind can even make u insane. A fact which i just knew could make me weak for a sec.

But does it worth my tears?

i need u but i just dont let u.

wheres the love? wheres the love? lalalala.. lalu ku belagu tek, duh =.='

My raya.

Hoping he'll be back just like who he was before.

Recieved ur msgeS last night. Sorry i left my phone. i miss ur friendliness, warmness, conversation between us, u telling me whatever shits uve been tru. Giving each other strength to revive again. U're acting like a brother, asking me to stay calm. But its been awhile after those conversation. I hope to c my old Safwan again. how can i be that sure? Cos i believe.

I miss this family. Farah, azim, khai, fai.. guys sayonara ! counting for the next reunion *sob sob*

Fatin, angah, aziez, nasuha, ikhwan..

ill be missing u guys.

ikhwan had been defeated by angah, its like a victory ever, haha. I WOULDNT EVER FORGET.

It is FANTASTIC !!

Thanks for being there whenever i needed u. At a certain time we need to limit ourself but i just couldnt as u guys are so cali. Ikh my supir, thanks for the ride, thanks for bertahan w my sense of bossyness and my kerenah. Su, thanks for the slap. took it as a teguran.

Angah and aziez, u guys know me well. i mean like very well. So thanks for that. Angah, choco tak mek lom mkn gik, syg , hehe.. aziez, thanks for evrything, dont cry gik kay. m gonna miss ur broken english + direct translation badly. fatin my BABEYH, dush dush!! ilek ilek, i can handle this, HOPEFULLY bak kata ikh, haiz. ill ring u :D